We often treat the word "vulnerable" like it's a 4 letter word. For a lot of us it's scarier than Jason and Freddy Krueger on Halloween.
Because in vulnerability there is no more hiding. No more control. It doesn't allow us to dictate our own narratives to our peers and others in our lives. Vulnerability tells on us when we don't want to be told on. I've spent years of my life promoting transparency. "I just want transparency" "I love when people are transparent." "Why can't you be more transparent?" But the truth is that I used transparency as a substitute for vulnerability. How is that possible, you may wonder… As long as I was “transparent” I didn't have to be “vulnerable”. Transparency keeps control in our hands while vulnerability puts it in the hands of others. On the outside looking in it’s almost impossible to distinguish. That's why so many of us do it, because accountability is lacking in that area. Its hard for someone to call us out on it.
Let me give you an example....Transparency is like giving $5 to someone in need and saying we gave all we had. Vulnerability is giving our wallet to that person and saying take what you need.
Transparency is showing your partner all the pictures and text messages in your phone. Vulnerability is handing over the phone.
We are afraid to be vulnerable when we are afraid to be known. When we are unhappy with an area of our lives or ashamed of something that we've become! We'd rather be transparent because then we can explain what happened and tell people why things look the way they do.
So what's the problem with only being transparent?
Without vulnerability healing and growth are much more difficult. When we are vulnerable we put ourselves in position to receive from another person or to be corrected. We all want to be CORRECT but we hate being CORRECTED! That's that fear and insecurity that rises up in us. That's the shame. That's the embarrassment.
We like for people to think that we know what is going on, we have it figured out, and that anything that looks bad isn't the way it seems. The problem with that is that the facade will work. People will leave us alone BUT, we'll be stuck with our problems.
Let people in, let someone in. There is someone who we can trust to lay it all out and let them look over our lives and speak to us about what they see. That position must be earned, but it is vital. So VITAL.
The worst thing we can do is pass down from generation to generation a set of excuses and elaborate reasoning for why things in our lives are the way they are. Teach our friends, children, peers what it means to be vulnerable. To live without shame, because no one is perfect. We all know you don't have it all together, it's about time we admit it.
I’m learning to stop showing people what I want them to see, and to just be! Let them look and find what's truly there…it helps everyone in the end.
Chuck & Iza
Welcome to Our New Website!!!
It's our pleasure to welcome you to our new site! It's pretty simple this time. If you just enjoy great images, or if you're looking for a fine art wedding or portrait photographer, we're here to help! If you need to book a makeup artist for your upcoming event or for wedding day, you can do that here too!
There are a bunch of new images and stories! If you want to reach out to us or book a service, you can do that from here as well!
Click around and explore. Scroll away and we know you'll love what you find.
The best version of Chuck & Iza starts today!
Chuck & Iza Wilmore
Spending this afternoon at Eastlyn was a true privilege. Jean & Genesaret's patio reception and outdoor ceremony were the perfect touches for their intimate wedding. Guests and vendors alike had a blast. Guests danced late into the night with the newlyweds despite many of them having traveled by plane to be in attendance.
Everything from the beautiful and simplistic decor, to the cake display, and the outfits worn can only be described as classy. The bridesmaids dresses complimented the beautiful bridal gown while the jacket-off, suspenders look that the groomsmen sported were another precise element that helped the feeling all come together.
Thank you to the staff at Eastlyn Golf Course for always being so professional and helpful to me every time I'm on the scene. Pulling off a successful wedding day is always a team effort and it helps the entire day go smoothly when everyone involved shares that same team attitude! Brides, grooms, endless guests, all your vendors, and I appreciate it deeply.
I met Eric and Lina for the first time during their engagement photo session and they were just wonderful! If I'm not mistaken, I think I told them that on that day... I said, "you guys have it!" From the way they interacted with one another, to their carefree, yet precise taste, to the way they looked and wore their clothes, I knew that we were in for quite an experience.
I was fortunate enough to have been brought into the process early. That way I was able to sort of see how the plans were developing as they went. Lina and Eric were kind enough to allow me to share my opinions on a couple of things and made me feel like I was important a little bit! LOL ;)
The real benefit of being able to witness these plans come together was the fact that I got to witness two peoples hearts on display. That's what it felt like when I walked into the hotel and the wedding venue. It felt like I was looking at Lina and Eric hearts. Everything from top to bottom was their idea. I was so impressed that two young people such as they are we're able to do everything their way! You could just feel it! The decorations, the venue itself, to the dress and groomsmen suits. Even to the food selection, a food truck which was delicious, Eric and Lina had specific intention on making their wedding day their own!
I was confident because neither Eric or Lina seemed like the pushover type at all, so I knew that when they selected me to be their photographer that it was a choice that they absolutely wanted to make. It wasn't a choice of convenience, or about numbers. It was because there was something about what I was offering that they felt connected to. They felt that it would be a good fit with all of the rest of the things that they had in mind for their wedding day. I appreciate that! It humbles me.
These pictures speak for themselves. No words could do any justice to how beautiful, yet intimate and personal this wedding ceremony and reception was. It truly felt good to be a part of it. I hope for every bride and groom to take the bull by the horns and grab the reins of their own wedding plans as Eric and Lina have! It makes for a very satisfactory day. When you can look around and everything that you see is something that was your idea, from decorations to location, to the vendors, there's a sense of fulfillment and independence that nothing compares to.
I wish nothing but the best to Eric and Lina moving forward! Congratulations guys!